Mixed Emotions and Last Moving Preparations
|December 23, 2012||Posted by under General Content & Rants|
I am sitting here in a living room half full of boxes in front of our wood stove insert trying to stay warm. Looking around the house, nothing feels the same anymore. The walls are all white and there is an echo in most rooms. I admit, it’s a strange feeling. I’ve always lived in smaller apartments (which I prefer anyway) and they never felt so bare & empty like this house does. I feel so small in this big empty space now.
We’ve lived in this house for 9 years. Wow. Writing it down makes it seem even crazier. I’ve never spent 9 years in a row anywhere. Nothing I will likely do again. This gypsy prefers to be moving and discovering new places constantly.
The truth is, I am having some mixed emotions right now. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to live here or stay here. I am more than happy to leave and settle into my new place in a big city and I can’t wait for that!
But here’s the thing: Despite my feelings about this town, I’ve managed to throw away most of the angry feelings I had about it so I am able to see the good that happened here: The good people I met and the fun things I did. Also, the life lessons I learned while living here. I won’t lie, most of my years living here were not great but many important things happened. Had I not lived here, I wouldn’t have met everyone who means everything to me. I met the most important people in my life here, including my partner who I met 17 years ago the first time I lived here. When we had to come back, I met the others.
I have also had to say goodbye to many employees I used to chat with, especially in cafés where I did a lot of my writing. Though I haven’t done much fraternizing in cafés in the past few weeks, I do remember that this was the only way I socialized and it helped me a lot during tougher and lonelier times.
I’ve also visited all the farmer’s markets for the last time. I went for dinner in a few establishments I will no longer be frequenting. I’m not even going into these establishments for the food yet rather the memories that come with the food.
It seems as though every single day, I am doing a “last” of some kind. It’s just a little surreal. I don’t remember being so methodical about this kind of life event back when I was younger and moved around from place to place. I don’t get attached to places very easily. I am not attached to this place, yet only the good memories that come with it.
I still have a few places to visit before next Saturday rolls around. But somehow, as my time here becomes limited, my priorities are surfacing right now. Just like packing, you throw away things you never thought you would. There are things I thought I would do or certain people I thought I would see before moving but it’s not happening and I don’t care. There is only one more person I want to say goodbye to right now, and I wish I didn’t have to. Out of everything I will have to do here, this particular goodbye will be the most painful. But luckily, we live in an age we can easily communicate in through the wonders of technology! There are so many ways to reach out.
This week, I will be preparing an apartment box for our sublet and will share its contents with you! I am still working on a list of things I will need. I started making a list but I am interested in seeing what will be in there! Have you ever put together a bare bones box like this?
This is my last week here. My new life begins soon and I can’t wait.
DO YOU HAVE ANY MOVING TIPS TO SHARE WITH ME?